my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
