I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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