summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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