Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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