now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
