Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
