is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I currently don't understand fingers.
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