WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
