the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
