I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
