well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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