Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
