Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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