Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
