the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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