Me too!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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