I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
