I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
