Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I DEMAND FORESKIN
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
