The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
