it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
