i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
