Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
