he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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