Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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