I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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