mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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