I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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