He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
