I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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