Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
