pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
