Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We are all done wearing pants today
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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