Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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