I want to stick my p in your. b.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
