youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
