i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
