Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize