Where did you get a picture of my penis
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
