ya dads aren't the best wingmen
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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