Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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