I wish I could teleport
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
