If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
