Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
