so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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