you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
