i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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