you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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