Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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