Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
