I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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