I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
